Tag Archives: wtf

Smoking vulture brains: what could possibly go wrong? (hint: everything)

It’s hard to convince people to read stories about vultures, even stories about the endangered status of 7 out of 9 South African species due to the fact that people are smoking vulture brains to try to make themselves clairvoyant, so I’ll give you the whole final paragraph as a pull-quote to entice you to go read the whole article to see how the author gets from the lottery to brains.

The vulture’s extraordinary looks and activities have resulted in an undeservedly bad reputation. But by cleaning up dead bodies, they perform an essential role in the ecosystem. One I do not wish to live without. If only the South African government could have predicted that introducing the Lotto would have led to a dramatic increase in the death of these animals. But then, nothing can help you see the future. Least of all, smoking vulture brains.

This truly chaps my hide

It suddenly got very warm out, so it’s been an inferno on every Metro train I’ve taken this week. A few days ago. I pinned my hair up, as I’m wont to do when it’s very warm. I was reading a book so I put my glasses on. A family of Midwestern tourists goggled at me and their smallest spawn poked me on the arm and asked me a question that turned my intestines to ice.

He asked, “Are you a Sarah Palin impersonator?”

And when I said, “No!” The whole family was disappointed.

I have a choice to make. I can quit pinning my hair up. I can grow out my bangs. I can dye my hair. I can get contacts.

Or, I can get a vocal coach and a red suit and cash in.

I get mistaken for a lot of random people, but I must admit to you that my own mother, upon first laying eyes on Palin, cheerfully proclaimed her love for the crazy bitch because “she’s just like you!”

I’m pretty sure mom meant a physical resemblance, but maybe mom was suggesting I’m a crazy bitch? Possible, but I suspect it was the hair and the glasses.

I hope.

On a related note, did you watch Game Change yet? I haven’t finished it, but I plan to. In the early scene where Palin is at the State Fair, my spiritual advisor, Roger, appears behind her as an extra and a neighbor’s son, Arlo, is playing Trig.


[embedded clip: Game Change trailer]

I’m now completely out of anything to say about Sarah Palin.

no no no no

I haven’t been busy, I’ve just been watching this video over and over in abject horror.

(the original video has been removed from youtube)

[embedded video]

(here’s a replacement)

Sorry for neglecting you. I’d say it won’t happen again, but we all know that would be a lie.

Charlie Sheen, demystified

It all makes sense now. Charlie Sheen has been drinking Brawndo.

More seriously, I think Craig Ferguson’s statement that he wasn’t going to talk about Sheen was the sanest thing I’ve seen all week.

Are you kidding me?

In what possible universe did BP Chief Tony Hayward think that attending a yacht race would be okay while his company destroys the Gulf of Mexico? The whole thing leaves me speechless. I thought Rahm Emanuel’s assessment was brilliant.

“To quote Tony Hayward, he’s got his life back,” Mr. Emanuel said.

Hayward made a lame apology after being blasted for idiotically stating to Gulf Coast residents that, “I would like my life back.” Clearly he doesn’t get it, as he thought it appropriate to attend a yacht race with his son. (It’s unclear from crew lists whether Hayward was actually participating in the race or watching – but it doesn’t matter which to me).

The whole yachting incident is so infuriating, it would be easy to miss the embroglio over the transfer of major responsibilities within the company. Luckily, The New York Times has come to the rescue:

On Friday, the chairman of the board of BP, Carl-Henric Svanberg, told the British TV network Sky News that Mr. Hayward would be “now handing over” the daily operations in the gulf to Robert Dudley, an American who joined BP as part of its acquisition of Amoco a decade ago.

On Saturday, BP tried to clarify what Mr. Svanberg had said about the transition of leadership in the gulf. “What he meant by ‘now,’ ” Ms. Williams said, was that “there would be a transition over to Bob over a period of time.”

“Obviously, Tony’s main priority remains overseeing all BP operations,” she said. “Over all, there will be some responsibilities handed over, but Tony will remain in full control until we have stopped the leak.”

I was going to make a sarcastic comment about the Marx Brothers being in charge, but it would be terribly insulting to their memory to liken them to BP.