Tag Archives: battlestar galactica

The Sopranos in Space; Or, Tammy's got a gun (Caprica spoilers? Probably not, but maybe)

I like Caprica a lot more than I like (the re-imagined) Battlestar Galactica. I enjoyed BSG the first time I watched it. The suspense kept me watching – much like Lost, I wanted to see how it all resolved, despite the frequently turgid pacing.

I even enjoyed re-watching the 1st season after the series ended – that was fun. But that’s where BSG and I had to part ways because rewatching it past the 1st season was so frakking boring for me that I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spork just to end the monotony. A spork, people. Do you understand how much torpor a show has to cause that the viewer becomes so lethargic that they can’t even get their ass off the couch to find a proper eye-gouging implement, like a spoon or perhaps a melon baller? A lot.

Luckily, I didn’t have a spork close at hand, so I still have two eyes. I also have a lot more room on our Netflix queue now that I’ve purged the rest of BSG. If you love BSG and want to watch it over and over, more power to you. I just can’t.

Nevetheless, I thought I’d give Caprica a go, if only out of morbid curiosity and because Eric Stoltz is kinda nerdy hot. Caprica is supposed to be about the creation of the Cylons and also about the relationship between Daniel Graystone (Stoltz) and Bill Adama’s father (Esai Morales, a talent that is seriously being wasted here so far). You’d think the story of Bill Adama’s formative years would be interesting. You’d be wrong. You’d be seriously frakking wrong.

The Young Bill Adama subplot, wherein the Sopranos, I mean, the Adamas, go about their daily lives is boring. We get it. The Taurans face prejudice and cultural stereotypes and some of them are involved in organized crime. We get it. We get it. We get it.

Do you hear me? Borrrrring.

It put me into such a stupor that I failed to even notice that a major(ish) character is played by James Marsters (aka Spike).

Do you even know who your audience is, dear writers? I made you a chart to help you out. This is a breakdown of the typical Caprica viewing audience:

Now, let’s make with the rise of the genocidal robots already.

edited to add:
Sorry iphone users – the chart categories are:
-BSG fans
-People who think Eric Stoltz is kinda hot
-People who accidentally watched Caprica because they were too lazy to change the channel when they realized it was only Friday & they had to wait a whole ‘nother day for Dinocroc versus Megashark

The exciting conclusion of our Galactica 1980 marathon; or, What.The.Frak?

We did it. We watched all 10 episodes of Galactica 1980. To celebrate, we started watching the original series. It’s also hokey and silly, but by comparison? It’s art.

No, actually, it’s not.

But it’s something closer to art than Galactica 1980. One could say that the final (completed) episode of 1980, “Return of Starbuck” has a certain Waiting for Godot je ne sais quoi. You’d have to be really really high to say that, but if you could get that high without suffering an aneurism, you could say it.



“Return of Starbuck” wasn’t intended to be the series finale and the scripts from the last episodes are available at the Galactica Wiki, I just haven’t bothered to read them.

I’ve mentioned Dr. Zee, the teenage super-genius who sits around on a lighted throne and foresees the future and stuff. In “Return of Starbuck,” Dr. Zee tells Commander Adama’s facial hair about a dream he had that reveals his true origins.

Turns out, Dr. Zee is the love child of an 8 and Helo.

Wait. No.

Starbuck (Dirk Benedict) was presumed dead after his Viper was destroyed. Turns out, he didn’t die. He crash landed on some planet. Or maybe he’s an angel. Who the hell knows? Or cares? Besides, Dr. Zee, that is.

Dr. Zee has a vivid dream about Starbuck yukking it up in the desert with his new best pal and wacky sidekick, a Centurian he names Cy. Starbuck and Cy play Pyramid. Starbuck and Cy bicker. Starbuck and Cy meet a pregnant woman, deliver her baby, and put it on a space ship and send it back to Galactica. The baby grows up to be Dr. Zee, who is magical or Starbuck’s love child or something.

Just don’t think about it.

The important thing is that this is the episode where Starbuck first uses the word “frak,” instead of the previously popular Galactica obscentity, “felgercarb.”

This may be the most important legacy of the Galactica 1980 series.

Until 2001, that is, when Special Times Just Right, a direct descendant of Adama’s facial hair, wins Best in Show at Westminster.

(This post was written March 9th)

galactica 1980 marathon, episodes 7 & 8 blahblahblah

Eight episodes down, 2 to go. Once we finish our Galactica 1980 marathon the judge has assured us that all of the conditions of our parole will have been met and we can rejoin society.

(explanation of the 4 different Battlestar Galactica series here)

So. Last night we watched The Night the Cylons Landed, part I and II (episodes 7 and 8). There are two important pieces of information to share about this opus.

1) Wolfman Jack appears as himself.
2) Cylons look like humans.

TV Tropes has a section on celebrity guest stars that offers this serviceable explanation:

An episode of a show which departs from its usual type of plot to make the best possible use of a celebrity or major star who happens to be available, regardless of plausibility, coherence, or continuity.

If the Celebrity Star is a musician or band, they often play themselves (or a thinly veiled facsimile thereof, as on The Facts Of Life) and usually have to play one of their hit songs.

Their list of examples is only so-so, but I suspect that anyone trying to compile a more comprehensive list of celebrity guest stars from 70s television would spontaneously combust.

Sidenote: the same year he appeared in Galactica 1980, Wolfman Jack also played Reverend Billy in the movie Motel Hell. This is worth mentioning if only because it enables me to not think about Galactica 1980 for a moment.

Husband and I were both startled that there were indeed cylons who looked like humans in the old series – we both thought that the idea for humanoid cylons was introduced in the latest series.

Dr. Zee gets a lengthy scene to explain how this came about. His explanation seems a bit long and ponderous until you realize he’s just spent 4 minutes explaining what the new series has taken 4 whole seasons to get around to. Huh.

This two part opus takes place on Halloween so there can be loads of hilarity as various characters comment on the amazing costume the Centurian is wearing. Also, Dr. Zee gets to bust out some hilarious computer graphics to explain the cylon evolution (a few of which must have taken an art director days to make with their Lite Brite). Also, Wolfman Jack.