Recently, Husband and I viewed a double-feature of two of the greatest horror movies of all time, or at least from 1982/83. I’m speaking, of course, of Poltergeist and Flashdance. Somehow, we then got stuck in the early 80s and decided to watch Tron and the Black Hole.

If you haven’t seen Tron, I don’t think that you should care about spoilers because, let’s be honest, Tron is a dumbass movie.

You might remember it as a good movie, but you’d be wrong.

See, in the 1982 of Tron, when you wrote a computer program a miniature person drove around executing the program in a miniature car.

This reminded me of a creepy dental hygiene video I saw in elementary school. It apparently wasn’t Crest’s Cavity Creeps, but so far my YouTube searching for the video in this traumatic yet hazy memory has only turned up Cavity Creeps, porn, and opossums.

Do you remember the Cavity Creeps? The Cavity Creeps were creepy, but it was this other video that creeped me the fuck out. I still can’t find the other video, but I’m not done looking yet.

I can only assume that the devolution of this post indicates that it’s my destiny to post the 3rd opossum-care video before I get around to posting about the psychic damage inflicted by Tron and the Black Hole.

On a opossum-related sidenote, one night my whole neighborhood was awakened to the horrible scene of opossums ripping a squirrel’s nest apart in our yard.

The carnage was grotesque. There’s no way I’d brush the teeth of an opossum under any circumstances.

If you decide to brush an opossum’s teeth, more power to you.

Just remember the advice from the video and don’t use your own toothbrush.

I know I’ve already posted one opossum video this week, but it turns out the massage video is even more hilariously sublime than the pedicure video and I feel compelled to post it, just in case you haven’t checked it out already.

Pearl is a deceased squirrel who channels prophesies and advice through her (former) human caretaker. Pearl has an extensive website that features more than just her caretaker demonstrating the proper way to give an opossum a pedicure, but it’s the pedicure video that originally caught my attention, so that’s what you get today.

“The most entertaining opossum pedicure tutorial you will watch today, guaranteed.”

After you watch this video, you will feel saner, guaranteed.

Via Husband via The Daily What.