Tag Archives: humor

There've been an awful lot of drug references here lately.

Coincidental, I assure you.

Nevertheless, here’s one more:

The hilarious Orlando Weekly’s Wm.Steven Humphrey has the most refershingly upbeat and positive take on the Fall TV season I’ve seen yet, in his recent I Love Television column titled, “LET’S HEAR IT FOR VICODIN”.

I’m going to copy/paste at length because I’ve had wacky linking problems to their site when a story gets archived and I’m just too lazy to try and figure out if the problem has been solved.

“LET’S HEAR IT FOR VICODIN”

Screw television. I’m renaming this column I [heart] Vicodin. Normally, I’m not a big fan of dental work – but if it inspires my dentist to ladle out bottles and bottles of these wonderful pills? Sign me up for root canals for the rest of the year!

You know, a lot of people complain about Vicodin, crying, “Wah! Wah! Because of Vicodin, my wife left me!” or, “Wah! Wah! Because of Vicodin, I lost my job!” But so far it’s done nothing but help my career. As it turns out, a couple Vicodin and a tumbler of vodka makes this new season of TV shows not only bearable but hella freakin’ AWESOME! The new season of Joey? LOVE IT. Two thumbs up! That new reality show where Christian singer Amy Grant gives poor people three wishes? IT GAVE ME A BONER. Kudos to you, Amy Grant – and your generous pal, Jesus Christ. Before Vicodin came along, I thought both of you were full of shit!

But anyhoo, the first week of October BLOWS when it comes to television. All the best shows have already debuted, and it’s the last week of normal television before the baseball playoffs come along and ruin everything! But lucky for me, I have a nice big bottle of Vicodin standing at the ready, which will magically transport me to a colorful, happy land where the following new shows won’t suck hippo dick.

[read the rest of the article – er, when I find the link again]

Speaking of shows that can only be improved with the ingestion of vicodin, I see that after 3 eps Bones is on hiatus until November 1st. I miss it already.

matchbox 20 humor, peyton place, and the stunning announcement that I've learned the secrets of time travel

This morning I’m trying to tame my inbox. As I was triaging my email over that first cup of coffee, I had a near-fatal giggling fit at this Onion article: “Matchbox Twenty Finally Finishes Watering Down Long-Awaited New Album”

Executives at Atlantic Records announced Monday that multi-platinum recording artist Matchbox Twenty, which set sales records in 2000 for its mega-hit release Mad Season, has finally finished watering down tracks on its long-awaited new album Beige.

“Everyone here at Atlantic is thrilled about what’s sure to be the biggest-selling, least-rocking record of the year,” Atlantic public-relations spokeswoman Janet Cosgrove said. “It’s been a long wait, but the incredibly boring results speak for themselves. Beige is bigger and blander than anything Matchbox Twenty has ever done.”

“Grab a chair, America!” she added. “The most uninteresting band in formulaic, corporate radio is back!”

[read the rest]

I really don’t like Matchbox 20.

This morning I picked up the Washington Post to find that my neighborhood has gone from “cozy Mayberry to nasty Peyton Place.” I didn’t get that memo. Where was I?

Me, I’m still busy worrying about the epic battle between God and Satan. I had no idea just how much was at stake this election! (as documented by the Bunny)

liberal outrage fatigue

The Onion hits it out of the park today:

WASHINGTON, DC According to a study released Monday by the Hammond Political Research Group, many of the nation’s liberals are suffering from a vastly diminished sense of outrage.

“With so many right-wing shams to choose from, it’s simply too daunting for the average, left-leaning citizen to maintain a sense of anger,” said Rachel Neas, the study’s director. “By our estimation, roughly 70 percent of liberals are experiencing some degree of lethargy resulting from a glut of civil-liberties abuses, education funding cuts, and exorbitant military expenditures.”

San Francisco’s Arthur Flauman is one liberal who has chosen to take a hiatus from his seething rage over Bush Administration policies.

[read the rest – it’s very funny]

It would probably be even funnier if it wasn’t so close to the truth…

the exorcist bunnies and link-love

Now, I wrote a long and clever entry at noon and my blog freaked out and wouldn’t save anything. Now it’s mysteriously back and I can’t remember what else I posted. Harumph.

That’s ok. This is probably better. I found it at Shelley’s and it makes me laugh, and believe me, I needed a good laugh today: the exorcist in 30 seconds, with bunnies

*Shelley, why aren’t you on my blogroll anymore? I ask, as if you know the answer to why I’m an airhead. I must have accidentally lost you when I lost Matt and Tara. Sorry. I’ll fix it. I need to add Victoria, too. And Leah, I haven’t forgotten you either.