Ask and ye shall receive. No sooner had I begun to ponder the title question, when I received this disturbing link from Matt Hulan. (Thanks, Matt!)
Yes, this is even better than pondering Paris Hilton: Champion of All Chickens: “Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3.” Sure, we’re laughing now, but I have no doubt this is another unheeded sign of the coming Apocalypse.
Now I must return to Marc Fisher’s most excellent coverage of the pants suit.
It’s an exciting world we live in, kids.
Lately, Husband and I can’t stop talking to each other like [tag]Foamy the Squirrel[/tag]. This is great for getting people to move away from you in restaurants, but I believe we may have started attracting other problems.
Yesterday it was very peaceful one moment, a veritable [tag]squirrel[/tag] bacchanalia the next. The unruly mob of varmints appeared out of nowhere and raced up a big oak tree. Their chittering took a distinctly ominous tone. I edged to the door and summoned Husband.
They were in constant motion so it was hard to get a count, but we’re sure there were at least twelve of the little bastards. That’s a swarm. A herd. A passel. Possibly a coven, even.
I’m not sure what it means when squirrels run in packs. Many of them seemed young, so maybe it was an extended squirrel family.
Research would take work. Possibly typing, maybe some reading. Easier just to make Husband pose with the mug Faith sent me for my birthday and try to use it as a totem.
Dear squirrels, please don’t hurt us. We will make offerings to your Gods:
I’ve been living in an unintentional news blackout thanks to no time and/or energy to watch TV. Add to that the fact that our paper-delivery-person (can we just say paperboy?) seems hellbent on the destruction of our paper most mornings. Thus, until minutes ago, I had missed out on, “Seattle man charged in bizarre duck case”
[read the rest of the story]
.
It’s not my fault the reporter made the whole thing sound hilarious. I think I’ll just stop reading the news now, while I’m ahead. I suspect that when I hit the world news it’s just going to go downhill and ruin my evening. Maybe ignorance really is bliss…
