Category Archives: artomatic

norwegians, the yellow bellied sapsucker, and, of course, a deer

A couple of days ago I had plans to attend an early evening meeting and then stop by the Hirshhorn for cocktails and a gander at the Gyroscope show. I took the Metro, so you already know that I’m about to tell you that wackiness ensued.

I ended up playing tourguide to a Norwegian soccer team. I think they were a soccer team. Their English was only slightly better than my Norwegian (read: nonexistent) so it’s entirely possible they were just telling me they like to kick small dogs. They kept saying the word soccer a lot, so I’m going to go with my original assumption – my friends in highschool were Norwegian and used the term soccer instead of football so I think it’s a safe guess. But I digress…

To make a long story short, I took them to Natural History to see the Spirit of Ancient Colombian Gold exhibit (splendid), the hall of mammals (we took a group picture with the taxidermied deer), and, of course, the yellow-bellied sapsucker (to prove there really was such a thing).

As an aside, may I just say that the new(ish) Hall of Mammals resembles the interior of an REI store. It’s really rather, well, wrong.

There’s an exhibit of photos of Norway in the hallway leading to Baird Auditorium. It looks very cold in Norway. My new friends were very keen on the idea of migrating to La Florida until they saw the bizarre little display case just representing the Everglades. The case is just before the entrance to the insect zoo and it shows a small gator and 4 snakes in a space that is maybe 15 square feet. I tried explaining that snakes are not herd animals like reindeer, but that seemed only to frighten them further as for a while they thought I was explaining that we eat the snakes just like they eat reindeer.

I left my new friends at the Museum and went to my Artomatic meeting, expecting to never see them again since I was fairly certain my explanation of the Hirshhorn’s evening programs was lost in the (lack of) translation.

Amazingly, we were reunited at the Hirshhorn to consume lovely rum drinks and view the Gyroscope exhibit, which was also quite good. You have to watch out for the combination of intoxicants and works by Francis Bacon, Pablo Picasso, and Willem de Kooning as that way lies really strange dreams. If you have even the slightest interest in Contemporary and Modern art and you haven’t seen this show you should scurry down there and check it out. And if you don’t have any interest, you should go anyway. It’ll be good for you.

Ira Tattelman's Work Creeps Me the Fuck Out

But that’s not a bad thing.

Be sure to check out his installation, “They Taught Me To Wash Away My Desires” in the restroom at the end of the hall at Artomatic. I keep forgetting to write down the room number but you’ll know it when you see it. Trust me.

I can’t even put my finger on why it weirds me out so much, I guess that’s what makes it so effective. Ira’s a delight to talk to but I keep forgetting to ask him if he’s capturing the piece on video. I don’t think he’ll be able to recreate the ambience or impact in video but it’s worth a try. Sadly, I loaned my camera to someone or I’d give it a shot. (literally and figuratively, I suppose).

yes, I have heard about the naked painting of W

I keep getting outraged emails asking me if I have plans to protest over an alleged flagrant violation of the First Amendment. (see: Ailing City Museum Cancels Funky Furniture)

Nope. Not gonna do it.

Why? ‘Cause the news reports are becoming so innacurate it’s silly, folks. It’s like performance art – a giant game of telephone.

Before you try to shout me down, like many otherwise uninvolved artist/friends have, keep in mind the fundraiser was largely my responsibility so I might have at least a vague idea what’s up. Sure, I’m in the dark about some of the stuff that’s going on, I’m sure, but no one’s Constitutional Rights have been violated, of that I’m certain.

My neverending headache did make it onto my fave show, Countdown, last night:

And number one, the city museum of Washington, DC which has cancelled an exhibit called funky furniture. They thought it was supposed to depict furniture. In fact, it included a painting that was a takeoff on the masterpiece ìOlympiaî by the impressionist Manet that was a painting of President Bush naked. Need some wood?

Yeah, so that’s why I’ve been missing. Again.

hell, other people

I’ve been doing crazy amounts of stuff that have been keeping me running around like, well, the crazy-woman I am. I don’t have the stomach for community organizing, I’ve learned (read: enduring threats and learning what overt racism exists in dc-metro area). I prefer being knee-deep in artomatic organizing, which is hard work but lots of fun. And much less scary.

Tomorrow, I will of course pause to light a candle for imprisoned freedom fighter Martha Stewart.

In the meantime, in lieu of more interesting content, here’s a roundup of some of the more entertaining random encounters with strangers from the last few weeks:

ladies room, lemur lounge, 3 weeks ago
drunk woman: “That vampire look really works for you.”

Metro train, last week
young woman: “You look like a goth Marilyn Monroe!”
(stranger still, others agreed)

Sephora, Pentagon city mall, sometime in the last few weeks
woman with lipgloss tester in her hand: “Does this smell like pee?”

coffee shop, today
woman with sandwich in her hand: “Do you think this will give me gas later?”
(which reminded me of the time Husband and I were checking out books at the library and the librarian randomly announced to Husband, “I love brocoli, but it gives me gas.”)

Today’s lesson: You can work from home, but you can never escape.