AddamsSantas
If you’re looking for some holiday movies to go along with that bottle of bourbon Santa left under the tree, here’s a trio that will guarantee your whole family needs therapy for years to come.

Rare Exports (2010) is a 3 year old Finnish horror/comedy for the whole (Addams) family. It’s a really good movie.

The other two movies on this list? Not so much.

Santa Claus (1959) is the heartwarming tale of the year Santa fought the Devil. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) features a young Pia Zadora. Enough said. Neither of those films should be viewed in their original form. Trust me, you’ll break your brain. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K) versions of both are readily available on Netflix, Amazon, Youtube, etc.


Rare Exports trailer:

Bonus!
The Rare Exports Safety Video (a 10 minute short/sequel to the original movie):

Santa Claus (MST3K edition)

MSTK3K presents Santa Claus Versus the Martians (MST3K edition):


Merry Christmas!

image: The Addams Family Christmas episode (1965)


Happy Solstice, everyone!

Are you here because of one of the kind tweets about my recent post, Thinking about the Bechdel Test? Thank you to to everyone who has commented or (re)tweeted or dropped me an email.

The response has been amazing and overwhelming and I appreciate all (well, most) of the feedback. I forgot that the comments were closing today, so I’ve re-opened them for a few more days if you’re so inclined.

It never occurred to me that there would be a world of Haunted Mansion fan art out there! Jill Harness on neatorama: 13 Great Pieces of Haunted Mansion Fan Art.

Mind you, I’m posting this while sitting beneath several framed Shag Haunted Mansion 40th anniversary postcards.

Meanwhile, over at Reddit you can see a photo of the greatest sexy halloween costume, ever: Edgar Allan Ho.

I now propose that we bury the sexy halloween costume obsession under the floorboards, where it belongs.

There aren’t any spoilers because we’re about 3 seasons behind on our Breaking Bad viewing.

Nevertheless, I’m posting my show-concluding thoughts and feelings because it’s the law.

Here’s what I thought was the funniest thing about Breaking Bad: we couldn’t get any of our friends to watch it during the first season.

The people we know who are most obsessed with the show now were the ones who were most horrified by it back in 2008.

Wait, that’s not really funny, is it? It just means that we’re terrible failures as influencers.

Great. Now I’m depressed.

Thanks a lot, Vince Gilligan.

We didn’t quit watching because we lost interest, we just didn’t have time. I’m sure there’s a binge in our future.

dinocrocvssupergatorDinocroc vs. Supergator is predicated on the idea that “alligators and crocodiles are mortal enemies.”

I called bullshit since the 2 species co-exist in South Florida, but Husband reminded me we aren’t dealing with a regular gator and croc, we’re talking about Supergator and Dinocroc.

Sure. Whatever.

The movie opens with a scene wherein David Carradine‘s character shouts, “What the hell is going on?”

This is a question we will ask our television for the next 90 minutes.

I’m having trouble keeping track of the characters who are neither Dinocroc nor Supergator because these people are boring and unidimensional. Plus, they keep getting eaten before I can even try to feign interest in them. Plus, I’m texting with JunglePete, who is attending our 25th high school reunion on Siesta Key on behalf of Heather and myself.

JunglePete and I were on the reunion planning committee. I thought we came up with some excellent themes, including Family Everglades Camping Weekend Of Terror, in addition to the multi-page list of alternate themes we proposed which our committee chair confiscated and burned in front of us.

The final decision was to not have a theme.

If I was at the reunion, they probably wouldn’t let me watch Dinocroc vs Supergator. Silly geese.

I’m starting to doubt that Supergator is actually the friend of all children.

Dinocroc isn’t very bright, even for “A Primeval” with enhanced intelligence.

Frankly, I’m not sure which monster we’re supposed to root for.

Husband thinks we’re supposed to be rooting for the humans.

That’s unfortunate.

I actually didn’t go for complicated health reasons, but you’re welcome to believe I stayed home to watch Dinocroc vs Supergator.

Or that one member of our class always has to sit out the reunion in an undisclosed location. Just in case.

(The confiscating and burning of our list didn’t actually happen, but it probably would have if we’d all met in person).

cannonball
(Ringling Brothers promotional poster for the Zacchini Brothers Human Cannonball Act)

Sometimes I forget what a bunch of weirdos you all are. When I mentioned human cannonballs on facebook yesterday, that wasn’t a euphemism.

Mario, the last of the original Zacchini Brothers, passed away in 1999.

I found a trailer for a possible documentary on youtube:

My (admittedly short) search didn’t turn up any evidence that this project was completed.

In semi-related muppet news, how great is this Stuntman Gonzo Action Figure (with cannon)? Love.

Have you watched the Cinefix Homemade Movies of the the Death Star Trench Run scene from Star Wars: Episode IV? Trust me, even if you think this idea is dumb, stick with it until about the 2nd minute and the genius of it will slowly be revealed to you.


[embedded video: Homemade Star Wars

If you want to really nerd out, there’s a side-by-side comparison available:


[embedded video: Homemade Star Wars side-by-side comparison]

Via laughing squid.