I want these people in their Ford Excursions with the tastefully applied Greenpeace sticker on the rear bumper to subsidize what they are doing to our planet in a tangible way. I’m very tired of the sense of entitlement that accompanies SUV-drivers.

I saw whiney yuppies on the news the other night complaining that they should have to pay less at the pumps because they feel like they are being penalized for needing a larger vehicle. A few of them also complained about how hard it is to park in the close-in spaces at the grocery store because the spaces are designed for, you know, normal sized cars. All I can really say to that is: Penalize this, baby.

It’s probably a good thing I don’t run the world because I could see things getting a little arbitrary over time, but I think for starters I have some okay ideas.