Category Archives: true life 2009
I didn't set out to become the champion of great sex in the city…
…but that’s what has happened. Yes, even when I’m wiped out with a nasty case of bronchial-wahatsits, loopy on high doses of steroids and antibiotics, and just generally drooling on myself I can find a way to get myself neckdeep in…something. Or, at the very least, spur others to action. There’s a blogpost brewing about all of this, but it’s too important to be dashed off in a hurry so it probably won’t appear until Monday.
Plus, today is a major holiday, and I think I deserve the day off from thinking Deep Strategic Political Thoughts, don’t you?
Plus, tomorrow is the start of National Novel Writing Month and I don’t have a clue what I’m going to write. I don’t even have any extra character names floating around the top of my head. This may be the year I write about homicidal artists…
Plus, I have to pace myself. I might actually have two outings today. I bought bloodred/black dahlias at the farmer’s market this morning and I’m going to meander over to fiberspace to work on my malabrigo scarf for a little while (and then it’s naptime). I lead a life of great excitement and danger.
Plus, tonight we have to give out candy to the small, cute trick-or-treaters. Once they finish (or we run out of candy) we’ll shut off the lights and hide. It’s a strategy that works well for us.
On an unrelated, yet adorable, note, our fence has made us rockstars with the little kids in the neighborhood. They’re in awe, it’s only 4 feet high but that’s gigantic to them. Little girls blow me kisses now as they toddle by with their parents. I’m so used to my very presence making them cry that I just don’t know what to do!
Back to Halloween. Halloween is serious business in my neighborhood. A few streets away the neighbors got a permit to close the street to accommodate their Halloween festivities. I don’t know how they’re going to top last year’s mock executions, but they’ve promised to give it a try.
On an unrelated note, last night Dr. Birdcage and The Amazing Phil stayed over after the opening of Phil’s new show at Irvine Contemporary. Phil’s new work is very cool and I’m hoping to own one of these captivating images.
The awesomest part about hosting Dr. Birdcage is that she always leaves the guestroom neater than she found it. Next time she’s here I’m going to see if I can’t get her to stay in the laundry room. That place is a wreck.
I'm going to guess the "encruster" is the oven
(Click the image to enlarge it). I don’t know why I find this machine so fascinating, but I do…
You can see more exciting cooking devices here.
Shirmp
This sign has been up for months. It’s still not as good as “Happy mothers day legs breasts thighs.”
edit: Sweet CheezIts (I stand corrected)
I’ve been sick. My fever has been bouncing up and down like a chihuahua on springs. That hasn’t been unpleasant enough, so yesterday a wacky confluence of virus and drugs and who-knows-what gave me heartburn. I’ve clearly never had actual heartburn before.
If I ever get it again, please call President Obama’s death panel.
What possible evolutionary function can heartburn serve?
To quote Dr. Birdcage, “Sweet CheezIts.”*
Heartburn made me reminisce fondly about kidney surgery.
It’s not even legal to blog about the things I was willing to do yesterday to make the heartburn go away.
Heartburn is proof that there is no god.
Heartburn, as you may have derived, was no fun for me yesterday.
I was capable of laying on the couch, grunting, and watching television yesterday. And even the grunting was an effort. We watched 8 episodes of the Gilmore Girls in a row yesterday because it was all I was capable of doing.
On a side note, is anyone ever going to tell Rory that her boyfriend helped start the apocalypse?
Furthermore, don’t you think it’s disturbing that I find Lorelei amusing because she’s exactly like my mother, while Husband finds her amusing because he says she’s exactly like me? I do.
On a sidenote to this furthermore, I’d like to point out that according to Parenting Magazine, Lorelei is the 6th most popular baby name for girls for 2008.
But I digress.
I don’t wish heartburn on anyone.
I do, however, suggest that you all work the expression, “Sweet CheezIts” into your vocabulary, because it’s awesome. (edit: Or, possibly, “Holy CheezIts,” which is what the 1st version of this post said because my mind is a shell of it’s former self. Fortunately, Husband emailed me a correction).
I’m not sure what I think of chocolate-coconut covered cheese its, a recipe I uncovered when I accidentally pasted “holy cheez its” into google when I meant to pull up Dr. Birdcage’s blog so I could link to her. Which is silly, since I already had her blog open in another tab because I keep re-reading her adventures at a health care town hall in Richmond and trying to form words to respond. Just go read it.