Category Archives: true life 2006

"Let me confess that I am one of those people who has never lost his childlike belief that the next motion picture he sees could be the worst film ever made. That's why I go to all of them." -Joe Queenan

We watched Incubus. In it’s entirety. Incubus. The only full-length motion picture ever shot entirely in Esperanto. Starring William Shatner. And Milos Milos, who soon after completion of the film killed himself and Mickey Rooney’s wife – although that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the movie, but it’s the most interesting detail so I leave it for your consideration.

Matt Rossi dared me to watch Incubus years ago, but we just got around to it last month. I probably had a whole load of snark to dump on the movie but it’s been too long and I’ve repressed most of the details. I have to say I couldn’t get that bastard back in it’s little red envelope and back to the Netflix Fairy fast enough.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

It’s truly a thing of wonder. I can almost guarantee that you’ll wonder “why?” from the moment you press play. Why did they make it? Why are you watching it?

It’s certainly no Devil’s Rain.

If I was well enough to actually attend movies in the theatre I would march out and see Jesus Camp tonight, which looks fascinating. And does not star William Shatner. And does not appear to have any snippets of Esperanto in it whatsoever.

Well then don't talk on your phone in public

I think that people blabbity-blabbing on their cellphones while blatantly inconveniencing others is obnoxious behavior. For example, planting yourself somewhere and yakking on your phone while ignoring the animals (zoo) or art (museums) and obstructing everyone else’s view. I seem to be in the minority in this one, but my mom is on my side.

Yesterday this guy had the misfortune of being the final straw for us. To his credit, he wasn’t obstructing anyone’s view or stepping on children or blocking an exit. His real crime was, to be honet, just that he made himself an easy target for mocking. Although, in retrospect, he may be a bit thin-skinned to be an actor if his reaction is any gauge.

Or maybe it was just the first time it occured to him that everyone can hear him while he’s on the phone. I used to think most people learned this around the age of 7 as their levels of self-awareness grew, but clearly I was mistaken.

But I digress…

“I’m at the zoo. I have to observe an animal for 15 minutes for my acting class and then act it out.”

My mom turned to him, loudly and exceptionally cheerfully asking, “Can we all watch?”

It was excellent.

The guy didn’t just leave, I think he actually vaporized himself. Everyone else happily resumed panda-watching.

Speaking of panda-watching, we just can’t get enough of When Pandas Attack. Countdown had a lengthy segment of outtakes last night but I can’t find the link to it yet. It’s still on my tivo, I suppose I could upload it myself. But that would take effort.

Won't you be…my neighbor?

Thanks to soon-to-be-former-neighbor delraysteve I’ve discovered that you can get Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ipod skins.

Speaking of buying things…

You aren’t in the market for a house, are you? The delrays have a truly lovely house they’d like to sell to you.

Damn you, Mr. Rogers, now I can’t get that stupid song out of my head. Eh, as far as kid’s songs go I guess I don’t have it so bad. And hey, at least it’s not the mildy creepy Everybody’s Fancy song. Who thought that was a good idea?

Whatcha doing? When you coming home? Tivo is sooooo lonely….

Husband and I joke (somewhat nervously, I must admit) about the day our Tivo* gets hold of our cellphone numbers and starts checking up on us while we’re out.

Our paranoia edged up a notch when we learned that the you can opt to let your xbox 360 blog about you, even when you aren’t around.

The Washington Post’s Mike Musgrove has a humorous piece about his own blogging xbox in today’s Business section:

And, while we’re at it, why knock my general lack of love for the current batch of Xbox 360 games when the real reason I haven’t spent time on the Xbox system this summer is the PlayStation 2 game Guitar Hero?

I put on a rockin’ toy-guitar performance last week, for the benefit of my girlfriend’s two dogs, who were as surprised as I was when I made it through Ozzy Osbourne’s “Bark at the Moon” on the game’s “expert” level. But did my Xbox, parked nearby on the floor, deign to notice or even give this feat a passing mention on its blog? Nooooooo.

[read the whole article]

Apropos of nothing, I’d just like to point out that dogs are much more participatory in this respect than cats. Cats are another story. Cats would not have given him props for such an effort. Cats would mock this effort by yawning vigorously and then marching past him and making a big display of curling up and going to sleep. On the other hand, you never have to take a cat out for a walk in the pouring rain.

As you may have surmised, we’re still leading the PetFree Lifestyle. Eventually more cats and a dog or two (and a goat! oh, please can we have a goat?) will find their way into our lives.

Besides, who needs a pet when you have Tivo? I’d be worried that the Tivo would actively try to harm the pets while we were out. I suspect the Tivo has a propensity towards jealous fits of rage. To be fair, we used to have a cat who got jealous of the TV and would periodically pee on it. (insert joke about the dearth of quality of programming *here*).

*Just remember, Tivo will change your life!

rodent watch

And yet, this only made it to number 3 on my hometown paper’s “The Top 10 reasons Sarasota is Capital Weird.”

While attending the Wausau Possum Festival, U.S. Senate candidate Katherine Harris, R-Longboat Key, holds up a possum by its tail. Harris is lauded by rural Washington County voters for her skill in shaking the possum while holding it.

[read the whole list. and weep]

In Harris’s defense (words I never thought I’d type without Dick Cheney’s gun to my head), while you display the possum you’re auctioning, you apparently have to shake the ugly bastard to keep it from crawling up your arm and biting you. That said, the picture is still damned funny even though it’s been floating around for weeks.