Tag Archives: overheard

Once again, even I know this is wrong

Today I was walking behind a guy who was singing along to his ipod. He could actually carry a tune, so I could actually tell that he was singing along to Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” At the time I was pretty sure these were not the actual lyrics from this 1987 song:

love is like a bomb baby, call and get it on/living like a lover with a red iphone

Now I’m quite sure because I looked it up on the Def Leppard site, which helpfully includes lyrics. Also, um, 1987.

This was not the same guy who was singing along to Night Ranger, “It’s been twenty-five years since I threw up on the rug/I had a bad reaction,” but maybe these guys could get together for karaoke. I managed to keep walking and not engage Def Leppard Guy in conversation, which was good, because I still feel slightly bad for almost falling on the floor laughing at Night Ranger Guy. I’m not certain whether Def Leppard Guy was old enough to know better, I was afraid if I got a better look at him I wouldn’t be able to keep it together. I suspect he was, though.

Only at the Washington National Zoo

A little girl who couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old, after looking at the Tigers: “I want them to be in the wild and have healthcare and food.”

What kid uses the word healthcare? Besides that one. It was spooky.

I guess she could have seen Madagascar a few too many times, but she weirded us out because she sounded like a miniature policy wonk, not like a kid repeating something she’d heard in a movie or heard an adult say.

I hate Night Ranger, but even I know that's wrong

The guy next to me at the gym was really getting into the Night Ranger song playing on the All Insipid Music All The Time station. When he started singing along and got to the line, “It’s been twenty-five years since I threwup on the rug, I had a strange reaction” I almost hurt myself laughing. And of course the more I tried not to laugh, the worse it got. Fortunately, he had a sense of humor about the whole thing. Or maybe he was just deeply fearful of the crazy woman. Maybe both. To be fair, I wasn’t sure what the actual [tag]lyrics[/tag] were myself, but I was pretty sure those weren’t them.

I suggested he submit his mistake to Kiss This Guy: the archive of misheard lyrics.

The actual lyrics, according to the 80s lyrics site:
I’ve lived twenty-five years I’m a kid on the run
I’ve got a pistol for action

I liked the vomit-oriented lyrics better, but maybe that’s because they sum up my sentiments about the song (and, for that matter, the band) quite nicely.

I love aqua laundryrooms!

Husband and I overheard a hilariously surreal exchange at the paint store:

shopper: “I want to paint my laundry room aqua.”
paint store employee : “I love aqua laundry rooms!”

Now, as if the woman’s deranged enthusiasm for aqua laundryrooms wasn’t amusing enough, the conversation got unintentionally funnier:

paint store employee: “What color are your appliances?”
shopper: “I don’t know.” – Said so dismissively even I felt chastened – “I’ve never been in there.”

This made Husband wonder how, if she’d never been in the laundry room, she knew the room wasn’t already aqua. He’s very practical that way. I wondered if she’d heard somewhere that bright colors could make her mexicans 80 percent more effective or something.

It struck the designer as odd that you’d live in a house for so many years and never go into some of the rooms, ever, but it was pretty impressive to watch her forge ahead with the customer. I kinda felt bad for her. I also kinda wanted whatever she was on.

I can only hope for her maid’s sake that her laundry room doesn’t have any exposed cinder blocks so perhaps she can avoid the 1970s indoor-pool and locker room aesthetic gone horribly wrong. Perhaps the aqua laundry room will be just cute as pie. What do I know? Maybe all aqua laundry rooms are just cute as pie. All I do know is that Husband and I enjoy exclaiming, “I just love aqua laundryrooms!”

But if this is a hip new trend you can just count me out.

Well then don't talk on your phone in public

I think that people blabbity-blabbing on their cellphones while blatantly inconveniencing others is obnoxious behavior. For example, planting yourself somewhere and yakking on your phone while ignoring the animals (zoo) or art (museums) and obstructing everyone else’s view. I seem to be in the minority in this one, but my mom is on my side.

Yesterday this guy had the misfortune of being the final straw for us. To his credit, he wasn’t obstructing anyone’s view or stepping on children or blocking an exit. His real crime was, to be honet, just that he made himself an easy target for mocking. Although, in retrospect, he may be a bit thin-skinned to be an actor if his reaction is any gauge.

Or maybe it was just the first time it occured to him that everyone can hear him while he’s on the phone. I used to think most people learned this around the age of 7 as their levels of self-awareness grew, but clearly I was mistaken.

But I digress…

“I’m at the zoo. I have to observe an animal for 15 minutes for my acting class and then act it out.”

My mom turned to him, loudly and exceptionally cheerfully asking, “Can we all watch?”

It was excellent.

The guy didn’t just leave, I think he actually vaporized himself. Everyone else happily resumed panda-watching.

Speaking of panda-watching, we just can’t get enough of When Pandas Attack. Countdown had a lengthy segment of outtakes last night but I can’t find the link to it yet. It’s still on my tivo, I suppose I could upload it myself. But that would take effort.