My money is on March 1st. I think that will be the day that Scott McLellan will resign from the White House to pursue new career opportunities. (A Fudgie the Whale ice cream cake will be served in the briefing room at 3:00).
Hunting accidents aren’t funny. Shooting people isn’t funny. But today’s White House press briefing – that was some funny stuff. Alas, as of this posting, the transcript isn’t up on the Briefing Room site yet. It was so good I wish I’d tivo’d it so I could pop popcorn and watch it all again. Poor Scotty. Stick a fork in him, he is done.
This Washington Post article, “Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter in Texas Accident” details the accidental shooting of Harry Whittington. I see they’ve also added a link to an edited video portion of the briefing.
McLellan was just so full of nothing, you could almost feel sorry for him. It’s not like I expected McLellan to say something like “Dick Cheney shot a man in Texas just to watch him die.” But really, he couldn’t just give the time of the accident, the time the President found out about the accident, and explain why it was determined that the best channel of communication was for a private citizen to call a local paper 12 hours after the accident and then let the news sort of spread from there on it’s own? These are not crazy questions. They are simple questions. McLellan tapdanced around these questions so hard and fast I thought he was auditioning for some deranged remake of the Red Shoes. Not to be confused with the Red Shoe Diaries – wouldn’t that be upsetting?
I loved McLellan’s insistence that it took so many hours to let the White House know the Veep shot someone because the immediate concern was to get medical attention to the victim. The poor man had a terrible accident, that is logical to a point. But everyone was involved in his medical care? No one could pick up a phone and clarify the situation? I half-expected, in the endless excuse making, for McLellan to trot out “Western Union stopped sending telegrams” as one of the reasons for the delays. The transcripts aren’t going to do this briefing justice. You really have to watch it.
I love the argument that the accident was on private property so it was up to the property owner whether it should be made public. Huh? So if Bill and Monica had been doing it on private property could we have all been spared the whole impeachment imbroglio? Is this why W does so much business at the White House West? This administration has decided it doesn’t count if it’s not on public property? Maybe this is the basis for the White House assertions that the NSA wiretapping programs are legal – maybe the whole program is being run out of Dick Cheney’s garage. I can’t even follow this line of reasoning through. Anytime I think too much about Dick Cheney I start to visualize that creepy grin of his and it always ends the same way: with mental images of him eating babies.
Come on, admit it. You think it, too. Napkin tucked under his chin. Peppermill at the ready. Plump baby on a platter. Don Rumsfield sitting at his feet begging for scraps.
OK. Let’s just get back on topic now…
Really, all the hemming and hawing over the when, where and how of the WH communication lines during this whole shooting thing would be hilarious if they weren’t chilling. Either McLellan has been taken entirely out the loop, he was lying out of his ass, or we all better hope to the gods that nothing serious happens because these people would have us believe that – much like the Katrina/levee situation – they can’t pick up a phone, a blackberry, or send a smokesignal to one another in a timely fashion.
On a less serious note, what the hell look was McLellan sporting today? His sartorial choices get nuttier and nuttier with each passing day. Today he seemed to be going for a sort of gangster clown motif, what with the red tie festooned with white polka dots and the 30s style wide pinstriped suit. Jack Abramoff should loan him a hat. And to complete the look maybe Cheney could loan Scotty a gun to casually sling over his shoulder. Unloaded, of course.