wtfuckabee

It was a big night last night. I’m sure you all gathered your loved ones around the teevee to anxiously await Mike Huckabee’s live media event:

Sadly, when Huckabee opened the vault to determine whether or not he should run for President, he found Michaele Salahi and Geraldo eating peanut butter and fluffernutter sandwiches on Wonder Bread. He then made a statement about looking into his heart and his heart telling him not to run, presumably because his heart had just had a conference call with his bank account and didn’t want to give up all the filthy lucre that pours in from FOX for doing shows like this.