On my flight home I was contemplating a parody of the William S. Burroughs novel Junky, with an Apple enthusiast standing in for the heroin addict. Ultimately, I decided that, while humorous in theory, in practice it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
I love Apple products just as much as the next person (who obsessively loves Apple products), and I did cart my mom into the Apple store to fondle the iphones and ipods a few days ago, but I haven’t molded a lifesized replica of Steve Jobs out of butter in my garage or anything. It’s not even Apple’s price-points that I take issue with. It’s two things: DRM and AppleTV.
I’m much too tired to hold forth about the evils of DRM again today, so I’ll just skip over it and sum up my review of AppleTV: it’s great if you’re in the market for a Foreman Grill that also plays music.
Think I’m kidding? Look at these thermal images of an AppleTV unit. Samer tells me that grilling panini on any Apple product voids the warranty. But this is a test-unit, I didn’t pay money for it. On the other hand, we have to give it back and it would be wrong to goo it up. If I was going to cook on it, I’d probably try frying an egg on anyway, just for comic effect. It’s the first Apple product I’m looking forward to saying goodbye to.
To hell with the Apple TV. I want a Thermal Imager!
Apparently some Apple “geniuses” would agree with you on the George Foreman grill part. In a bid to replace my dropped and broken mini, I went to the Apple store and almost replaced it with a video ipod, but the Genius talked me out of it. He looked like a cross between Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the butler in Rocky Horror. He said I should just get the shuffle, as mostly I wanted to run with it, and who wants to watch movies on a tiny little screen anyway? I will never give him up to Steve Jobs! He saved me lots of money!
I’d like a thermal imager too, come to think of it.
Don’t run while watching your teeny tiny downloads of the Office. No good will come of that.
And what color shuffle did you get?
Orange.