The Mesa (Arizona) Police Department has hired a capuchin monkey, which is cool and all, but I just had to send the article to my mom because it contains this sentence:
Since 1979, capuchin monkeys have been trained as companions for quadriplegics, performing daily tasks such as serving food, opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, and retrieving objects and brushing hair.
Brother and I have suggested she raise helper monkeys so often (because look how well we turned out) that any phrase that even starts with an “h” sound makes her twitch.