artDC, Jasper Johns, metro man

I went to artDC. Wasn’t really all that and a bag of chips, but I wasn’t really expecting it to be.

I saw what seemed like everyone from [tag]artomatic[/tag] but not one person complained about anything to me. Except the lack of interesting [tag]art[/tag] at [tag]artdc[/tag], but that wasn’t anything I was expected to do anything about so that was ok. There were a few nice pieces – notably work by Jennifer Foley, Tim Tate, Ian Jehle, and Michael Janis. But most of it…eh.

Later, after a pleasant detour to the National Gallery to catch the Jasper Johns show with Claudia Vess I managed to display my impressive freak magnetism. (No, I’m not talking about Claudia).

And this guy wasn’t the run of the mill freak – this guy was a serious complainer. And not just a random complainer who wanted to complain about job, inlaws, uncomfortable underwear or the weather. Oh, heaven’s no. This was a stranger who wanted to complain about me. And this man complained about me all the way to the next stop.

I was happily reading my book when the man sat down in the seat in front of me and then whipped around, looked me square in the eye and then turned to look straight ahead. Then, gesturing back at me, he said to his (invisible) friend, “The problem with their kind is that they burst into flames if they’re exposed to the sunlight. Got to travel on the Metro until it’s night and they can feed.”

Then he sang, “Ride…Ride…Ride the Metro” over and over in a singsongy voice in between a running dissertation on “my kind” until we got to the next stop, at which time I fled and waited for the next train while making sure he and his apparently large yet seemingly invisible entourage stayed put.

Still a better day than one that included circumcision as performance art. By a longshot. Claudia and I agreed that there was a reason that whole personal mutilation strain of performance art died out in the 80s. It’s just gross.

3 thoughts on “artDC, Jasper Johns, metro man

  1. Dr. Bridcage

    We know all about your kind, you. All I’ve ever been accused of was kicking people’s grandmas out onto the street. I think of all that time I’ve spent with you at AOM at night and think, phew, I’m glad she didn’t get me ;) Thanks for the shout out!

  2. Evil Agent

    I don’t see what you’re complaining about…he had the words to the song right! It’s much more annoying when they just make these things up as they go along…on the other hand, you could have offered to pour some gasoline on him and hand him a box of matches.

  3. rebecca

    Teehee. I’d still have his tune in my head if someone’s cellphone hadn’t rung in my vicinity playing the accursed Banana Phone song.

    Sadly, I was the one he wanted to set fire to, not his invisible friend.

    You know, the two of you would get along extraordinarily well. Dr Birdcage and Evil Agent, that is. Not Metro Man. Heh. I believe Dr. Birdcage enjoyed living in Evil Agent’s current (publicly undisclosed) locale as much as EA does, come to think of it…Coincidence? Or just a hellish place to be. You be the judge…

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