As if the multiple-Jamie-Lee-Curtis commercials weren’t annoying enough, Voicestream has gone one better and created what may well be the most grating commercial to me ever. More annoying than the Mattress Discountersjingle, more annoying than that guy who tries to tell me how to get government money, more annoying than commercials where people shave their legs.

You know the one I’m talking about: the ad with the boy and the girl kissing. He’s got his lipring caught in her braces. I lack both the vocabulary and the necessary level of caffeination to even begin to adequately describe to you HOW MUCH THIS COMMERCIAL HURTS ME. My teeth ache right down to the roots just thinking about it right now. A dull throbbing pain. The kind of pain induced by listening to fingernails screach down a chalkboard while you have your teeth cleaned by a rookie dental hygenist who’s on cold medicine – in the back of a Ford Bronco with busted shocks doing 70 on a dirt road.

You must make this commercial stop. Right now. Please please please make this commercial GO AWAY. Not only have you cost yourself my business, but I’m not sure I can even take calls from Voicestream subscribers, so visceral is my reaction to that commercial. Please make it go away.