Category Archives: true life 2002

A man with hairy legs is wearing my dress

When I got home from work tonight I found that my dress had arrived. Unfortunately, my dress had also left because the delivery service requires a signature. Eve and Tara assure me that the delivery guy isn’t sitting at home tonight sitting in my dress, swigging beer. Once I develop a paranoid conspiracy theory it’s hard to let go of if it’s silly enough to make me laugh. When I stop giggling though I just know this is what I will lie awake tonight worrying about.

Have I ever told you about the Telepathic Time-travelling Mutant Space Crickets? Well, I can’t talk about it right now. Maybe later. They exist. You can’t actually prove they don’t. Think about it. There’s just something not right about crickets and this would explain a lot. Others will corroborate my story. Um, these other people are at least as crazy as I am, but I don’t believe that should have any bearing on the evidence, or lack thereof.

Back to a few hours ago…When I first arrive home there was an entire herd of squirrels in the road. They scattered and so I parked my car. Then I looked out the window. One of them was sitting there, watching me. I just know it was planning to jump in my car. I’m convinced my car still smells like squirrel pee. I’m so not playing that game again.

I debated climbing out the passenger side, but decided that was the dumbest idea I’d ever had. Or at least the dumbest idea I’d had in the last 10 minutes.

Maybe we should just move on now.

[image missing]

Here’s an excellent site collecting information on Eldred v. Ashcroft. (Also home of the Free the Mouse campaign, where you can get a fine button like the one you see above)
I had planned to try and watch Lessig argue the case before the Supremes this morning, but I had an obligation I couldn’t weasel out of. Husband was also less than enthusiastic about camping out at the Supreme Court all night, but I would like to point out that Lisa Rein did so and promises a report (and video about the camping out portion of the program) in the near future.

I think that this is all enough to worry about for one night so I think I’ll go to bed now. Tomorrow, er, today, is another one of those 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. days that I’m pretty sure violate child labor laws or something.

I’ll have to ask the Cricket Overlords about that.

There are no cricket overlords, of course. I’m just being silly.

Or at least that’s what they told me to tell you.

L. Ron, the musical

This post is part of the corrupted archives restoration and includes the old comments as text at the bottom of the post. Sorry if this is confusing.

I can’t believe I’ve never seen this before. I’m wondering if I haven’t repressed it into the same far reach of my brain where I’m storing Bob Geldof-TV trivia. At any rate, I present to you Road to Freedom: L. Ron Hubbard & Friends. The songs are… underwhelming.

Husband sent me that gem, thereby erasing any guilt I was feeling over inflicting the Viking Kittens that showed up at memepool on him.

Posted by skarlet at October 9, 2002 08:00 AM

Comments
RUNNING AWAY!!! FLEEING!!!!
Posted by: Tara at October 9, 2002 09:13 AM

My god no, not a musical….
Oh damn, it’s just music.
I’m thinking the idea of a musical could be really funny actually…

I really need to go home, don’t I?

Posted by: batgrl at October 9, 2002 09:03 PM

I thought I was suffering Spike insanity. I clicked on Viking Kittens as I inserted a cd (just bought three new ones @ Orpheus tonight) and thought someone had played a nasty joke on me, packaging Led Zeppelin as abstract jazz. I was really confused, as was sweetie.

Glad I figured out the cd was playing too softly to combat those that come from the land of ice and snow!

I’m not going to click on the other link. L. Ron scares me.

Where have I been?

This post is part of the corrupted archives restoration and includes the old comments as text at the bottom of the post. Sorry if this is confusing.

Was I the only only one who didn’t know that Sir Bob Geldof’s production company (Castaway) owns the rights to the entire Survivor franchise?

I have ever so much to say about CNN’s poor presentation of the President’s speech, but I’ll save it for later. I’m rather pressed for time right now.

Posted by skarlet at October 8, 2002 10:00 AM | TrackBack
Comments
Love, love, LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE your new logo font, there. Just had to say so.

Posted by: Tara at October 9, 2002 12:58 AM
Thanks! I have to finish the other little icons and get to work on the new blog. I’m having a case of the stupids and am not sure how to set up a new blog without torpedoing this one. I need to email all the members of the review crew too. I also have to quit writing in ryhmes.

Posted by: skarlet at October 9, 2002 12:42 PM
Oh that is cute fontness!
Meanwhile where did you first find out about Sir Bob? This and the blue guy from Montana who’s running for senate (or was it congress) are perplexing me.

I’m still at school. Tell me to go home.

Posted by: batgrl at October 9, 2002 09:01 PM
I saw him talking about it on TV so I looked it up. Weird.

Posted by: skarlet at October 9, 2002 11:27 PM

Lifestyles of the Rich and Stupid

This post is part of the corrupted archives restoration and includes the old comments as text at the bottom of the post. Sorry if this is confusing.

What’s that? You’re still using Johnson and Johnson products on your baby? You must really suck or something. I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

After reading a recent article in the Washington Post I’ve seen the error of my ways and will never put such banal products in shower baskets for my new-mommy friends ever again.

“Going Goo-Ga for Kiddie Chic: The New Baby Brand Names: Bulgari, Burberry, Bobbi Brown” explains the rapidly expanding market in chic skincare products for infants.

I think this was my favorite part:

Burberry released its Baby Touch perfume, costing $24 to $38, this year, part of a full baby line, said a New York-based spokeswoman. The company declined to comment on sales projections, but industry sources have forecast $9 million to $17 million in worldwide sales for the first year.
Another firm, Swiss-based Laboratoires Valmont, plans to introduce its four-year-old baby line, Soin de Fee, in the United States next month. The five-item line, which includes $30 Anti Stress Serum and $43 Baby Cream, will be sold in a limited number of spas and salons, said spokeswoman Charlotte Coutrot.

Anti-stress serum? What in the hell does a baby need a 30 dollar anti-stress serum for? I thought we had that covered. I was operating under the silly impression that mushy food, clean diapers, and the act of bobbing around the house making idiotic cooing sounds while contorting your face into equally idiotic expressions were the primary ingerdients in the anti-stress arsenal for your average baby. Clearly, I was mistaken. For starters, I forgot that the babies of the wealthy and foolish are never, ever average.

(newsflash: no matter how well-off you are, your baby still looks like Winston Churchill. Deal with it)

And what need, may I ask, does a baby have for 38 dollars/ounce baby perfume? Babies are supposed to smell like babies, are they not? I guess when you forgo the usual baby-type products for lilac-scented wrinkle creams (hint: babies are naturally wrinkly, they grow out of it) you have to buy special baby-scent so your baby will smell like a baby?

I could take this to it’s logical conclusion by asking if Calvin Klein is working on a special fragrance line called “oatmeal” or “poopy diaper” but I’ll show some self-restraint.

Incidentally, I’ve seen several of these 300 dollar Kate Spade baby bags. (matching stroller only $350 more).After a few weeks they look just as ratty as the 20 dollar ones from Target. It’s probably wrong of me to be amused by this, but it’s probably also wrong to use your child as a fashion accessory. But there again, what do I know?

Posted by skarlet at October 7, 2002 06:00 PM | TrackBack
Comments
I take issue only with the thought that a newborn resembles Winston; I’ve never seen a baby with a cigar.

Posted by: Linkmeister at October 7, 2002 07:24 PM
Sent the link on to Max’s parents. ;)

Posted by: Faith at October 7, 2002 10:45 PM
My son’s feet stink. I just always spray a bit of Acqua Di Gio on them before we head out.

I’m kidding.

Posted by: melly at October 7, 2002 10:58 PM
my son’s feet have smelled really bad since he was just a tiny guy. my daughter was forever sniffing his toesies and saying, they smell like vinegar!

and they did. and that’s ok.

i kinda feel sorry for the designer babies.

Posted by: kd at October 7, 2002 11:32 PM
According to my father, I looked like Edward G. Robinson, not Winston Churchill, when I popped outta the womb. Gee. Thanks, Dad. :P

And what? I still use Johnson and Johnson products for ME. Baby shampoo is the BEST for getting your eye makeup off — washes it all off, and…’no more tears’! Yay!

Maybe the anti-stress serum is actually for them moms? Eek.

Posted by: Jen at October 8, 2002 11:14 AM
Well then Faith you did this to yourself. *giggle* No more quick and cheap baby gifts from Old Navy, you’re going to have to hit the Burberry counter from now on. Don’t come complaining to me! ;)

Posted by: skarlet at October 8, 2002 11:32 AM
$300 baby bags?
Damn. I’m not going to be able to wrap my brain around this concept…
But that was a great article. I can’t wait to see how many of these products they’re still selling in a year…

Posted by: batgrl at October 8, 2002 01:41 PM
$300 baby bags?
Damn. I’m not going to be able to wrap my brain around this concept…
But that was a great article. I can’t wait to see how many of these products they’re still selling in a year…

Posted by: batgrl at October 8, 2002 01:41 PM
Oops…

Posted by: batgrl at October 8, 2002 01:42 PM
I admit that I wouldn’t buy a $300 baby bag. But my sister has two Kate Spade ones and has been making noises about the Burberry one for the past two years.

Of course, she gets all her KS at a deep discount (75% off), so there’s no money thing there. She is a bit of a label whore, though.

The perfume is just as sad as the pet perfume. Some things just don’t go together. I still haven’t read that article, btw, but I did set it aside to send to my sister last week. ggl.

Posted by: bunny at October 9, 2002 06:23 AM
Hello Bunny. And how does your sister get 75% off KS goods? Hmmmm? Sweetie? Darling? Hannukah is approaching and I’m nearly hysterical coming up with an appropriate mother-in-law gift. The DVD sets of the Sopranos are just not coming out fast enough, damnit.

Posted by: skarlet at October 9, 2002 12:41 PM
Bunny’ darling, pet perfume can be a very good thing. Especially when your dog’s new nickname has become Stink Bomb.

Posted by: Faith at October 9, 2002 08:35 PM

fun with the elderly

We’re not actually headed to a funeral this weekend, but we are about to go visit an elderly relative who peppers every conversation with, “I’m next, you know.”

One of these days I’m going to lean in and whisper, “You know, you’re probably right.”

But not until she promises some of her furniture to me.

(That was a joke. The part about the furniture, anyway).