I don’t know how The Dark hopped to the top of our [tag]Netflix[/tag] queue. I guess it’s been on our list for so long that we don’t even remember putting it there. Or why we added it in the first place. It showed up in the mail and we watched it. Turns out it was an appropriate double feature with [tag]Black Sheep[/tag], seeing as it was based on a novel called “The Sheep” and featured a lot of shots of sheep. Also, both movies had adorable black and white [tag]Border Collies[/tag].

That’s where the similarities end, as Black Sheep was entertaining. The Dark was a colossal waste of time.

There might be spoilers in the rest of this post, but I doubt it. If you can’t figure out the ending just from reading the description on the envelope, you probably shouldn’t be watching movies in the first place. Plus, I’d imagine that anyone who wanted to see this movie already has. Nevertheless, you’ve been warned.

The plot of [tag]The Dark[/tag] is: Maria Bello wanders around for 93 minutes yelling “Sarah, Sarah!” while Sean Bean sneaks away to chew out his agent and crusty yet quaint Welsh folk utter quaint Welsh phrases and the viewer wishes desperately for the sheep to become [tag]zombies[/tag] and start eating people.

Before the movie even hit the one hour mark, we’d already started giggling every time Bello yelled, “Sarah, Sarah!” Too bad it’s not supposed to be a comedy. This movie is bleak and annoying and boring and predictable and 93 minutes of your life you aren’t going to get back. The sheep are attractive and they do become demonic in one scene, but it’s not worth it. Just watch Black Sheep twice, it will be a much better use of your time.