Okay people, listen up. I’m not going to say this twice.

Unless you a [tag]pirate[/tag]; working in a pirate-themed establishment; engaging in activities including, but not limited to, hacky-sack or frisbee; Johnny Depp; or a gay man with a Labrador Retriever, you need to take that damn [tag]bandana[/tag] off your head and report to the front office immediately.