There are many cultural issues regarding the Lone Ranger remake but every time I start to think about them, my brain derails with the thought, “Someone took a perfectly good Johnny Depp & put a fucking bird on it.”

I deeply question Vanity Fair’s assertion that Johnny Depp makes this look cool in any way shape or form.

Note to vanity fair: Bird. On. Head.

[embedded video: Portlandia: Put a bird on it]

This was a draft I found hanging around. It started life on my facebook page on March 8, 2012 so I don’t remember where I planned to go with it. This is what you get.

Doctor Who fans will want to try the Daleks Relaxation program.