What are the odds of there being not one, but two, Loverboy coverbands in a one square block radius? You’d think they’d be slim. You’d be wrong. I was walking to the video store and I heard the singlemost godawful cover of “Working for the Weekend” ever. Yes, it’s an awful song, but even we do a better job. And we’re each playing instruments we don’t actually know how to play. And we don’t know the words. And we’ve never actually rehearsed together, like all in one room at the same time playing the same song. Weird.
At the video store I chose “Josie and the Pussycats.” How can I go wrong? It says right on the box that it’s one of the greatest movies ever. They wouldn’t lie to me, right? How can you go wrong with such a great concept? You’re a studio. You own the rights to a cheesy old cartoon. What could be more cost effective than to hire a couple of hacks to churn out a script, hire some talentless actors, and fire up the hype machine? It’s a brilliant can’t-lose proposition. This movie is going to be great! I can’t understand why no one has ever thought of doing anything this clever before. Oh, wait…
When I got to the counter with my selection, the clerk tried to take it away from me. I think he must be in training to be some sort of police negotiator. He was good, but not good enough. He kept pleading with me. “It’s bad, bad movie. Pick another.” As evidence, he showed me how every copy they have keeps coming back in half-wound. He thinks people are giving up on it. “Don’t you think maybe it’s because it’s so great that when they’re done watching it they watch the first half again before they return it, because it’s so great?” I argued. I produce the blurb on the back of the box as evidence of the films greatness.
He seemed dubious, but finally he took my cash and sent me on my way. Half-watched, eh? I’m up for the challenge.
Besides, it’s good preparation for the Team Building Activity I’ve planned for the Punk Princess editorial staff tomorrow. Remember, we’re trained professionals and we know what we’re doing, and what we’re doing is attempting to sit through back-to-back showings of “Glitter” and “Rock Star.”