We have neighbors who have an annual Halloween party, to which we are expressly not invited (we do invite them to all of our parties). It’s a fascinating display of arrested development.

Last year the wife walked up to a group of us standing outside gabbing and gave out invitations to everyone. Except me. And then talked to everyone except me about how “everyone is invited.” Truly sad. I can’t comprehend using up so much energy that way. Eh. She’s truly vicious about other neighbors (her apologists, no less) behind their backs. At least I know where I stand. It would be amusing to just show up, but I won’t. At least one of us has manners. Besides, we have tickets to [tag]Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D[/tag].

At first blush, this would seem like the kind of thing One Shouldn’t Blog, and you’d be sort of right, but not for the reasons you might think. It’s such open and blatant behavior that it’s apparent she’s begging for attention, so it seems unfortunate to give any. On the other hand, it’s so very pathological and I must admit I find it quite fascinating. I have to admit I give the “friendly neighbor” wave sometimes, knowing the husband will wave back while the wife works so very very hard to pretend she doesn’t see me. Standing 10 yards away. Wouldn’t it be easier just to wave back and keep walking?

Please clap.

9 Thoughts on “Life on Wisteria Lane

  1. Want to trade neighbors? I’ve called the cops every weekend one one of my neighbors. There are three houses filled with young boys (I refuse to call these guys men) that are causing problems. I let it go all summer, hoping things would change once fall hit. No such luck. They’ve already been at it since 5:30 this evening.

  2. rebecca on October 27, 2007 at 7:28 pm said:

    Good point. Mine at least have political staffer type careers to protect so they can’t be too obnoxious without unfortunate consequences.

  3. Sadly I only communicate with my neighbors when the downstairs neighbor’s kid is throwing rocks at ducks or to call the fuzz on the one upstairs for beating his girlfriend. It’s only happened twice.

    I’m trying to come up with a solution for you but nothing I can think of won’t trigger a raid on my apartment or more scrutiny from the NSA.

  4. rebecca on October 27, 2007 at 9:15 pm said:

    Evil Agents “helper gator” could come in handy…

  5. Man, you have all the best people in your neighborhood.

  6. rebecca on October 28, 2007 at 7:49 pm said:

    We really do. You should move here :-)

  7. This reminds me of the time that Lizzie invited everyone in the class to her birthday party except me, Wally, and Candace. At the start of class. In front of everyone. Of course, we were in the fourth grade. Perhaps you should tell your neighbor that you’d be happy to throw her a party when she decides to graduate from elementary school?

  8. rebecca on October 30, 2007 at 7:05 pm said:

    I think we’re firmly in middle school at this point. *sigh*

  9. Evil Agent on November 2, 2007 at 8:16 pm said:

    I SO look forward to visiting you and being introduced to this fine example…I’ll try to stop by after a raid, so I can be properly attired…hehhehheh

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