I watched every episode of the goat rodeo known as the Real Housewives of DC. I haven’t watched the “reunion” episodes yet, but I’m sure I will the next time I have a cold or something.

I know you watched, too, despite your very DCish denials, because you’re very quick to correct inaccuracies in casual conversation or to coo over how cute Lynda’s pug, Ichiban, is.

It’s not worth watching the show unless you also read the Reliable Source’s recaps/dissections of each episode, of course. The Reliable Source broke the White House crasher story and published a series of pieces about the social, financial and political wreckage this couple leaves in their wake and they bring their mad fact-checking skillz to bear on every episode.

I think the most astonishingly bizarre episode was the one where the camera crew followed Michaele Salahi to a Redskins game. It was horrifying and awkward and showed how tragically screwed up this woman is (and not just because she looks like David Spade in drag in her cheerleading outfit).

The Reliable Source summed it up better than I can. I’ve inserted their links into the text I’m quoting from their fact-checking recap, but that shouldn’t stop you from going to check out their columns because it’s some mind-boggling stuff.

At last, the cheerleading scene! Michaele Salahi shakes her pom-poms at Tareq in the “Thomas Jefferson Suite” at the Willard Hotel. (Should we assume this was comped in exchange for camera time, like the Four Seasons’ Oprah suite?) “We still got it! It’s alumni, but we’re still rolling.” She then goes on to tell the camera, “I’m a former Washington Redskins cheerleader for the NFL.” (No. This is simply not true. In December, after the White House incident, the Redskins Cheerleader Alumni Association did the research and found that, despite her longstanding claims, she was never on the squad. She just showed up to alumni events — and heck, even paid alumni dues! This story seemed to take the Salahi saga to a whole new level; it was one of the most-read stories on washingtonpost.com for several days.) We then see her alighting at rehearsal for an alumni performance — big hugs for everyone — and the quirky music and awkward steps are producers’ cue to us that maybe she doesn’t know what she’s doing. (Indeed: The other cheerleaders told our colleague Paul Farhi they were freaked out by the whole thing, since no one remembered her and she didn’t know the basic steps. Not all but a lot of faces are fuzzed out — presumably they didn’t sign Bravo’s waivers. Oh, and there’s some pretty serious time travel here, too: This rehearsal was Sept. 18 of last year, though much of the other action we see on this episode is November or December.)

I think my favorite episode was the one where the Salahis crash the White House. Not for the Salahi-bits though. I love the scenes with Lynda, with or without Ichiban. This was the standout:

And finally, a brisk yet rich scene in which Lynda Erkiletian shows D.C., if not the entire world, how a true Bravo Housewife does it! She dons a shiny dress, calls in her stylist and assistant: “Katie, can Ishmael have some chardonnay please?” She admits she’d never heard of Burkina Faso. She beckons her boyfriend Ebong “for a little scotch on the rocks, pretty pretty please, oh, gosh, thank you!” And tells him, “you’re so hot, I’m having a hot flash right now!” She has Ishmael put a big flower in her up-do. to go with her chandelier earrings. And then before she leaves for the big fashion show, requests her astrological charts. We’re on notice: Lynda is the alpha Housewife, the uber-Housewife, the Housewife 3000, and she should have the spinoff. (“Can Ishmael have some chardonnay please?” I practice saying it myself, but I just can’t do it right.)

We walked around the house saying, “Can Ishmael have some chardonnay please?” for days, but we couldn’t get it right, either. We’re simply not worthy.