There’s yet another youth leadership conference in town and the place is awash with teenaged Future Fascists of America trying to cover their Extreme Suburban Shiny Whiteness with baggy Tommy clothes and painfully awkward slang.

I was observing a herd of them (mostly male) jabbering about the evils of welfare, their “a child not a choice” buttons gleaming on their tastefully scuffed backpacks. One kid walks up to the herd and says “WhazzupHomeDogs?” His homedogs replied that they were “Just Chillin Like Villains.” I was able to keep a straight face through the whole exchange…almost. I caught the eye of one of the maintenance guys and had to practically race around to the side of the building before we both got a hernia laughing. I know it’s sad, but it was also indescribably absurd.

(edited a few minutes later)

I’d like to add that the presence of all these smug and immature boys has reminded me of one of their traits which is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Three times today (read: since 10 a.m.) I’ve heard (three different) little boys (okay, I’m getting old, they must be between 14 and 17) point out that something is an oxymoron, simply so that they can then state that they know how to pronouce oxymoron correctly (i.e., not as oxy-moron). You used it correctly in a sentence, consequently you do not need to then point out that you can pronounce it correctly by stating the incorrect pronounciation for the express purpose of then stating the correct one.

It’s odd to hear it so many times in one day, but probably odder still that this little statement annoys the snot out of me so much. Always has, always will, in all likelihood. It’s just one of those tics that insecure boys (usually it’s boys, anyway) have that they(hopefully) will grow out of because it’s pretentious and really not especially interesting or impressive. Thankfully, most of them do. Do not ever get me started on adults who still engage in this kind of lookatmelookatme behavior. Ever.

I didn’t actually have bile for breakfast today, it just seems like it here. I’ll be heading off to pop open a very good bottle of wine, prop up my feet and finish American Gods very soon. You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.