Recently, it seemed somewhat strange to me that a monkey would take such a liking to my hair.

Now I see that it’s part of a larger pattern. The monkeys are gearing up for worldwide domination while we sit in front of the TV, drooling.

360 monkeys in China have taken up cliff-diving.

Monkeys in India have been attacking schoolchildren more frequently.

11 marauding monkeys have been on a burglary spree in Malaysia. They were apprehended August 1st. No word yet on whether charges will be filed.

August 4th we learned that Darla the Helper Monkey, who bit a toddler in a grocery store, has a history of biting people. And this is a surprise? Didn’t these people see Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear?

Monday, August 9th, 75 rhesus monkeys went on the lam in Louisiana.

Today it was revealed that monkeys in Russia play video games.

In my mom’s neighborhood, there are a lot of wild monkeys. It’s not unusual for monkeys to break in and trash your house while you’re out, and in fact they’ve had to start being more aggressive with the signage because people are feeding them and creating the same problems we have now with alligators – they (the monkeys, not the tourists) lose their fear and they become very dangerous.

While I was typing up this entry I thought my yard had been invaded by chimps, but it’s just a toddler playgroup. From the sounds of it, though, you could have fooled me.