Not the book, the disease. I’m like an old lady in West Palm. Let me tell you about my aches and pains.

It was, to say the least, an unproductive weekend. Still sick. TV viewing choices spiralling into a black hole. At one point Saturday I even watched Lifetime. Yes, Lifetime. Lifetime: television for women. Television for women who find sexist crap “empowering.” We tried to watch some crappy Made For TV movie starring Shannon “Don’t Call Me Brenda” Doherty and Kevin “I’m Not Matt” Dillon.

Sadly, it was merely crappy and not, as I’d hoped, truly craptacular. It was called Gone in the Night and let me tell you it should have been. It was one of those missing-children movies. We had to turn it off after Husband turned to me and said “I don’t even have kids and this crap stresses me out. Why do people watch this junk?”

Thankfully, we were able to tune into HBO, which was showing Arlington Road, a good old-fashioned “your neighbors are terrorists” movie that the whole family could enjoy.

Sunday, we spied on the neighbors. They seem to buy a lot of charcoal. And they sing show tunes in their backyard. We’ll be keeping an eye on this.

Last night we were able to pull ourselves up out of bad-TV hell by popping in the special edition DVD of Jaws. Isn’t it amazing? That movie doesn’t have a single flashy actor in it and yet it’s one of the greatest movies of all time. Go figure.