The only thing that would have made this story better would have been for them to let Blitzer cover it:
You seem to have a fascination with hairless creatures. Looks like a hairless coyote by the way it runs with the tail down. Poor ugly hideous thing. The deputy not the animal.
How odd, I thought you had a followup comment – I wonder if I sent you an email reply and deleted the comment instead of approving it. Hmm.
“Chupacabra!” does make an excellent expletive-substitute when small children are around.