Category Archives: true life 2009

Signs of Fall

Dairy godmother, originally uploaded by meanlouise.

Huh. I believe this is the Pottery Barn equivalent of a zen koan

Huh. I believe this is the PB equivalent of a zen koan, originally uploaded by meanlouise.

Or, possibly, our relationship has reached the point where it’s ok to play little pranks on one another.

update: Upon closer inspection I discovered that the shelving unit was UNDER the box-within-a-box. I can’t decide whether this was brilliant package or deeply ridiculous. I’m glad I didn’t call Pottery Barn and complain as soon as I opened the box. Sometimes taking a nap saves one from taking rash action, I suppose…

Burlap is the new black

Today, a dream of mine came true. I was in Old Town running one of the million errands necessary for our home improvement/renovation/foray into mental illness when I heard an extremely pretentious interior designer say, in complete seriousness, “burlap is the new black.”

I laughed so hard I started crying. I may actually have become hysterical. I had to sit down on the floor of the shop to regain some semblance of my composure. It wasn’t pretty, which of course only made me laugh harder.

You see, it’s been my ambition to insert the phrase “burlap is the new black” into common usage for years.

We all know by now that by “ambition” I mean, “something I mention at random intervals but never actually act on.” What.Ever. I still feel like this was a big win of some sort.

( I wish I could find the post about this from last year, I swear it had some really funny comments in it from Sean. Maybe that was an email and not a blog post).

Every time I shop at Pottery Barn, a kitten dies

I’m kidding. (I think.) Before the nice folks at Pottery Barn pop in here and yell at me for besmirching their fine establishment, I’ll say in my defense that I just bought 3 floor lamps from them. Heavy, heavy lamps. (That rangy hipster-guy who loads the boxes in your car is a hell of a lot stronger than he looks).

I wanted to avoid going to the store in the first place, so I went to their website to research shipping charges. I clicked on the Shipping Options link. Now I’m wondering what other people buy at Pottery Barn that would necessitate this information being at the top of the page – the header is “Three Ways to Save.” Option 1 (spend more than $3,000, get a discount) was rather pedestrian.

The 2nd & 3rd options were the ones that had me scratching my head:

Reduced Surcharges on 600 Items

We’ve significantly reduced surcharges on the delivery charges for over 600 items. You’ll save up to $675 on the delivery and processing surcharge. To find these special savings on the website, look for red “DELIVERY DISCOUNT!” messaging on product pages as you shop Furniture categories.

Set Discounts
With significant discounts on media, home office and bedroom furniture, now’s the perfect time to set up your entire space just the way you want. To find these special savings on the website, look for red “DELIVERY DISCOUNT!” messaging on product pages as you shop Furniture Categories.

600 items?

Who buys 600 items of anything at Pottery Barn? After I stared at it a little longer, I realized that they were saying that there are over 600 items on which they’ve discounted the delivery charge. The nuances of the two options are so subtle it seems silly to break them into two separate points.

Maybe I just need a nap.

My qi is blocked

I manage my inbox to zero. If I don’t, the unfinished business nags at me. My Macbook Pro downloaded a bunch of software updates a few days ago and for reasons I don’t understand my mailbox marked all of my old mail as “unread.” This is what I see every time I open my mail:

You can imagine how irritable this has been making me.