We did it. We watched all 10 episodes of Galactica 1980. To celebrate, we started watching the original series. It’s also hokey and silly, but by comparison? It’s art.
No, actually, it’s not.
But it’s something closer to art than Galactica 1980. One could say that the final (completed) episode of 1980, “Return of Starbuck” has a certain Waiting for Godot je ne sais quoi. You’d have to be really really high to say that, but if you could get that high without suffering an aneurism, you could say it.
Probably.
“Return of Starbuck” wasn’t intended to be the series finale and the scripts from the last episodes are available at the Galactica Wiki, I just haven’t bothered to read them.
I’ve mentioned Dr. Zee, the teenage super-genius who sits around on a lighted throne and foresees the future and stuff. In “Return of Starbuck,” Dr. Zee tells Commander Adama’s facial hair about a dream he had that reveals his true origins.
Turns out, Dr. Zee is the love child of an 8 and Helo.
Wait. No.
Starbuck (Dirk Benedict) was presumed dead after his Viper was destroyed. Turns out, he didn’t die. He crash landed on some planet. Or maybe he’s an angel. Who the hell knows? Or cares? Besides, Dr. Zee, that is.
Dr. Zee has a vivid dream about Starbuck yukking it up in the desert with his new best pal and wacky sidekick, a Centurian he names Cy. Starbuck and Cy play Pyramid. Starbuck and Cy bicker. Starbuck and Cy meet a pregnant woman, deliver her baby, and put it on a space ship and send it back to Galactica. The baby grows up to be Dr. Zee, who is magical or Starbuck’s love child or something.
Just don’t think about it.
The important thing is that this is the episode where Starbuck first uses the word “frak,” instead of the previously popular Galactica obscentity, “felgercarb.”
This may be the most important legacy of the Galactica 1980 series.
Until 2001, that is, when Special Times Just Right, a direct descendant of Adama’s facial hair, wins Best in Show at Westminster.
(This post was written March 9th)
A felgercarb must be exponentially more fattening than a normal carb; a collapsed
neutron star calorie, if you will. Perhaps
something sold at 7/11 for breakfast.