I’m going to jail for practicing medicine without a license, I just know it.

I believe I have actually said, with no ironic detachment or post-modern-hipster-humor-bullshit whatsoever, “How does that make you feel?” at least two dozen times today.

Everybody needs to calm the fuck down. Now.

It’s all going to be fine, people. I promise.

Go to your rooms and make some art. I’ll tell you when you can come back out.

Well? Why are you still sitting there? Go!