To Do lists are passe, my freaky little friends. It’s much better to make lists of the things you aren’t going to do today. Here’s my Not Do list for today:

• Have that 5th cup of coffee
• Chase the UPS truck down the street (again) to see if Mr. UPS Man has my computer
• Let Nisa and our monkey butler coat me in butter
• Yell at visual artists who try to tell me how sound “should” be done even though they don’t have a fucking clue
• Get to work on time
• Link to the Washington Post
• Yodel in the ladies room
• Wear fairy wings and coat myself in glitter

I was going to put “bathe” on the list, but that seems like a bad idea. I better get on that now or I’m going to have to change “get to work on time” to “get to work at all.”