Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

People like to tell me their problems, and that’s okay. However, I’ve come to the realization that people (women, specifically) also like to tell me about their undergarments.

About a half an hour ago I was in the ladies room, trying to get the automatic sink to let me wash my hands. The woman standing next to me – who I have never ever seen in my entire life – turned to me and stage-whispered “My panties have been inside out all day, do you think that’s okay?” Being an expert on these things, I assured her it was fine and then ran like hell.

The whole exchange got me to thinking. The Sex and the City underwear query, the inside-out-underwear woman, what does it all mean? I remembered an incident back in October where the waitress at the Waffle House in Staunton Virginia chose to inform the cook that she wasn’t wearing any underwear while she was refreshing my coffee. So many weird panty-related incidents, clearly increasing in frequency. I wish I could figure out what it all means.

No, I take that back. I have zero desire to know what this all means. Zip. None. Nada. Forget I even mentioned it.