Royalty, or maybe just a royal pain in the ass

July 9, 2008

This morning, someone referred to my “confidence, strength and intelligence” as well as my “extraordinary talent, charisma, athleticism, wit, unfailing good judgment, sexiness, grace, beauty, and mad skateboarding skillz.”

Okay, only the first three were actually suggested by another human being, it’s not outside the realm of possibility (read: entirely true) that the others were supplied by the voice in my head. Or possibly my mom.

No matter. You already knew these things, for I am your queen and you will worship me. Why else would you be here? It has come to my attention that you’re behind schedule on shrine you promised to build in my honor. This displeases me, but I am trying to learn to be patient with lesser beings, so I’ll give you a little more time.

In lieu of being worshipped at my own shrine this spring, I tried to convince Rania that we should run the Disney Princess Half-Marathon. The nice people at Disney are throwing a whole weekend in honor of my birthday, how can we not go? Rania was underwhelmed by the idea.

I have much work to do, but so do you. Why are you still sitting there? And don’t even think of using linoleum or other vinyl flooring anywhere in the shrine. The consequences? You just do not want to think about the consequences.

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July 10, 2008 @ 9:19 am

Can I just provide the ice cream?

July 10, 2008 @ 2:08 pm

I keep eating fortune cookies too until they tell me nice things. “You should eat more fruit” is not a fortune. It is nagging. Who do I complain to?

July 10, 2008 @ 11:39 pm

You are in fact the Director of Ice Cream Services. Or possibly General Counsel of the Iced Confections Division. I’ll keep you posted.

July 10, 2008 @ 11:39 pm

Pete – you’re doomed. Sorry to be the one to tell you.

July 10, 2008 @ 11:40 pm

Husband would like it on the record that he has been worshipping me accordingly. He is correct.