Category Archives: food and drink

Culinary tips

Dealing with doctors saps what little mental energy I have for the whole rest of the day. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, anyway.

Yesterday, I attempted to make a pitcher of pink lemonade Crystal Light, which is derived from a toxic-looking yet soothing water soluble beverage powder of unknown, but presumably alien, origin. There are three basic steps and one optional advanced step necessary to prepare Crystal Light.

Basic steps:
1. dump powder into container
2. add water to container
3. shake or stir contents of jug

Optional, advanced step:
4. Refrigerate

Yesterday I carried out steps 1-4. Later, when I retrieved the container from the refrigerator I discovered I’d inadvertently skipped stepped 2. Step 2 is, it turns out, a crucial step in the process.

Husband said he thinks I should have my own cooking show. I think he’s being sarcastic.

Today will be a better day, it’s gotta be.

speaking of lipstick…

I hate crowds, I hate shopping, I really didn’t want to be anywhere that might lead to being elbowed in the kidney, and most perfume gives me a headache. So it makes perfect sense that I went to the District Sample Sale last night. I was extremely well-behaved, I mostly bought presents for other people.*

Mostly, I was there because it was a good cause, but a small part of me was there as an anthropologist, and my-oh-my was it an entertaining evening.

I admit I’m a big coward, so I only stayed downstairs during the VIP hour, when there were only 100 or so other shoppers milling around and the only major obstacle was the caterers who seemed determined to make sure no one starved. Some of my friends were fasting because it’s Ramadan, and sunset wasn’t for hours. They were being tortured by the fab food and the free-flowing champaign. Because we’re post-ironic, they helped me pick out some Chanukah gifts for the in-laws.

When the doors opened to the public I grabbed a glass of champaign and scurried upstairs to chat with the Development Director from the DC Rape Crisis Center, the main beneficiaries of the night’s proceeds. I observed the mayhem for another 30 minutes from a safe perch, and then I fled, because it had gotten kinda scary.

I noticed that the clothes – at least the items that appealed to me – were generally either extra small or too large. Physically too large or too small, that is. Being designer items, a size L or XL could easily equal a Target size 4 or 6, so I don’t mean the size labels themselves were an indicator of the actual range of sizes represented.

At one point a woman asked her friends if they wanted to grab some food, and the other women recoiled from all that carb-tastic goodness as if she’d suggested they shoot lighter fluid into their eyeballs. It reminded me of the exchange from the Devil Wears Prada:

Andy Sachs: So none of the girls here eat anything?
Nigel: Not since two became new four and zero became the new two.
Andy Sachs: Well, I’m a six…
Nigel: Which is the new fourteen.

That didn’t stop the line for tasty Georgetown Cupcakes from snaking down the hall later, however.

And on that note, let me direct you to DC Damsel, who has a terrificly interesting post up about the way her experience at the sale made her think about her body image now and her recovery from eating disorders.

Now, back to the less serious note that this post (which was intended to be one sentence) started out with. When I started pawing through the bulging swag bag, I pulled out an assortment of Graham Webb cosmetics. I happened to read the fine print on the box, and was fascinated with the warning label:

Caution: For external use only. Keep out of eyes. Discontinue use if signs of irritation appear. Not for infants under 6 months.

What on earth has someone done with this product in the past that their lawyers feel a disclaimer with this level of specificity is in order?

_____________

*Okay, I admit it. I’ve already fallen in love with, washed and worn the shirt I allegedly bought for my mom. But still, the other items? Definitely gifts. The seriously hot Benedikte Utzon dress I scored for 30 bucks? That remains mine, all mine.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, or is it?

Perhaps I’m too sensitive to the legion of anti-semitic conspiracy theorists who believe that Jews own the media. Regardless of whether the intention was to send a coded message to the faithful, I think someone at the Corn Refiners Association should have taken a better look at this ad before they put it in newspapers. This picture is from the Washington Post, A16, September 9, 2008. I couldn’t find a pdf of this particular ad:

Above the bagel, in bold: “Could it be another schmear campaign?” The very first sentence under the bagel: “Lately, high fructose corn syrup has had its name dragged through the media.” I think you’re on shaky ground, juxtaposing a broadly worded attack on the media with a bagel. And a bagel with a Yiddish word in the boldface above it, no less.

The ad sends readers to SweetSurprise.com”, and I’m actually going to leave aside any thoughts about the corn-industrial complex, their battle with Big Sugar, or nutrition in general.

Corn farmers are traditionally portrayed in popular culture as paragons of white, wholesome Middle America. I’m bothered by this ad, with it’s suggestion – intentional or unintentional – that the Jewish-controlled media is trying to ruin something people have worked hard to build.

Am I reading too much? What are your thoughts?

Full text of the ad: Lately, high fructose corn syrup has had its name dragged through the media. Truth is, it’s nutritionally the same as table sugar. Has the same number of calories, too. Even registered dietitians agree that you can keep enjoying the foods and beverages you love, just do it in moderation. To get the facts, visit our website. We welcome a healthy discussion.