Tag Archives: monkeys (also: apes)

Wicker Monkey of the Month Club

Do nothing and each month a new monkey will be delivered right to your door.

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I’ve been amassing these to share with my brother.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I have to keep them all because I can’t send any to him, we don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. Husband told me – and I choose to believe this – that he’s in charge of a special Top Secret* genetic engineering project that’s creating dinosaur super-soldiers, probably right over there in the basement of the Pentagon.

*Top Secret until now, I guess

"The zoo keeper says he organized the event as a way for animals (specifically: monkeys and penguins) to have more interest in the Olympics."

From yesterday’s Oddball segment of Countdown:

And finally, speaking of winter games, we are just days away now from the opening ceremonies of the 2004 winter Olympics in Athens, Greece. All right. I know. Summer Olympics, please don’t tell that to those whacky South Koreans. They are celebrating the event by dressing up as penguins, or dressing up penguins in the national team jersey. And they’ve got monkeys, too. Look, monkeys! It’s South Korea’s animal in English, animal cheerleading team. The zoo keeper says he organized the event as a way for animal to have more interest in the Olympics. No, really. He actually said that. And the zoo keeper is still walking around without his own keeper.

I only wish they had the video posted. That’s a transcript of a voiceover and it really lacks something without the surreal imagery.

monkey kingdom

Recently, it seemed somewhat strange to me that a monkey would take such a liking to my hair.

Now I see that it’s part of a larger pattern. The monkeys are gearing up for worldwide domination while we sit in front of the TV, drooling.

360 monkeys in China have taken up cliff-diving.

Monkeys in India have been attacking schoolchildren more frequently.

11 marauding monkeys have been on a burglary spree in Malaysia. They were apprehended August 1st. No word yet on whether charges will be filed.

August 4th we learned that Darla the Helper Monkey, who bit a toddler in a grocery store, has a history of biting people. And this is a surprise? Didn’t these people see Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear?

Monday, August 9th, 75 rhesus monkeys went on the lam in Louisiana.

Today it was revealed that monkeys in Russia play video games.

In my mom’s neighborhood, there are a lot of wild monkeys. It’s not unusual for monkeys to break in and trash your house while you’re out, and in fact they’ve had to start being more aggressive with the signage because people are feeding them and creating the same problems we have now with alligators – they (the monkeys, not the tourists) lose their fear and they become very dangerous.

While I was typing up this entry I thought my yard had been invaded by chimps, but it’s just a toddler playgroup. From the sounds of it, though, you could have fooled me.