But Husband and I think that they should have let the cheetahs keep the deer.

A deer got into the cheetah yard at the National Zoo yesterday and was pounced on by a mother cheetah before the deer escaped into Rock Creek Park, according to a witness and a zoo spokeswoman.

The young buck appeared in the largest cheetah yard shortly after 7 a.m. It bolted from a pond there and was chased by the mother cheetah and her four cubs, according to a witness. The mother cheetah jumped on the buck, and it ran back to the pond.

Admit it, cheetahs are way, way cooler than deer. I’d have said that even before last night, when a deer decided to try and kill itself on the hood of Husband’s car. In the same place a deer once flung itself onto the hood of my car, although that was some years ago. Still, a bit of a coincidence.

Husband is fine, the car is a loss. The damned deer got up and ran off.

I met a very cute little kitty yesterday. She was going to live with us for a few weeks while her mommy finds a new place to live. The poor little thing was pretty stressed from her second move in a week, but she seemed to be okay with being here. Unfortunately, we learned just how allergic to a cat I can be, and it quickly became obvious that we needed to return her.

I picked her up and cuddled her as I was taking her back to the carrier. She purred and purred, breaking my heart. (At this point the allergy medicine was coursing through my veins and the rational part of my brain had shut down). Just as I started to waiver about returning her she saw the cat carrier and decided to break my skin to match my heart.

Now, usually it’s a struggle to get a cat into the carrier, but once they’re in, well, they’re in. With this in mind, I certainly wasn’t expecting this tiny little ball of cat to become a winged hell beast from the planet Twylar.

As I was latching the carrier door she launched herself against it, hooking her paw through the bars and planting her claws into my hand. When I pulled back, cat still attached to my hand, I pulled opened the door and pulled the cat out with it. Now, most cats would let go and run and hide. Not this one. She attacked. I’m just thankful I was wearing long pants. Looking at my hands you’d think I’d gone a few rounds with tiny vampires. Kitty’s going to have to refine her technique, though, if she plans to go Pro. She missed my veins by mere millimeters at least a dozen times. When I got her back into the cage we had to use a towel over the door to latch it. I’ve really never seen anything like it.

Husband took the cat back while I cleaned up the blood (all mine) and took a shower. I feel terrible we couldn’t keep the kitty, but I feel even worse that Husband didn’t think to warn them when he returned her. I’m hoping that no one lost an eye when they opened the carrier. She really is a sweet little kitty and she’s been under a terrible amount of stress. She wasn’t being malicious, she was just freaked out. And I’m not just saying that because her mommy is a blogger…

We usually bypass the saccharine-filled ickiness that is Animal Planet. Last night when I wasn’t paying attention Husband was flipping channels, landed on Animal Planet, and for some reason he stayed. A really cutesy show called “Amazing Animal Videos” started, complete with perky-yet-inept host and whimsical theme music.

We were only half-paying attention so you can imagine our surprise when the first home video turned out to be a woman recounting being mauled by a bear. It was violent and gross. Really, really gross. Next up: a guy who hugs sharks.

We’re still reeling from the bear incident when we get to a tear-jerker-with-a-happy-ending-story. Willy the Chihuahua is paralyzed and facing death row at the pound. He gets adopted, gets a wheelchair, and becomes Wheeley Willy, Friend to Disabled Children Everywhere. Everyone loves Wheeley Willy, he’s so cute and quiet and full of love. It probably doesn’t hurt that he was debarked. Don’t get me wrong, some of our best friends are Chihuahuas, but they’re long-hairs and they have a very different temperament. I just can’t imagine that Wheeley Willy would be nearly so charming is we could actually hear all the vocalization he is attempting unsuccessfully, thanks to his former owner’s decision to sever his vocal chords.*

We come back from commercial and the perky host jabbers and jabbers and jabbers. Her inflection is off and so everything she says sounds like parody. Husband gets tired of the host and starts yelling at the screen, “Shut up and roll the tape.” I’m a little worried about him at this point, moreso when he starts sort of rocking in the Lazy-Boy and muttering “wall of pain. wall of pain. wall of pain.”

The host wraps up her spiel. “Now we’re going to see pigs do things pigs don’t normally do. Like skateboard!” (wall of pain. wall of pain. wall of pain).

Next we get to see one herd of elephants take another herd’s baby hostage with the intention of killing it, followed by a tiger park in Thailand where the tiger cubs are nursed by pigs, and then it’s time for the Feline Tetherball Championship! (wall of pain. wall of pain. wall of pain).

Even the local news was a relief after that.

*I think debarking is evil. I don’t think Willy should have been debarked. I’m just saying.