Miss Universe

April 19, 2001

In the latest bit of Miss Universe pageant news, Miss France was accused of having once been a man. (Accused. As though this was, in itself, a horrible crime).

Miss France of course denies the whole thing. I personally don’t understand why everyone is in a swivet. I think that the pageants would be better served if the contestants were men, either transgendered or transvestite.

We’re never going to change the attitudes toward the female body that are propogated by these pageants. So why not let the entrants be the individuals who naturally fit the standard: slim boyish hips, above average height, artificial (but still small) breasts, fake eye-lashes, plastinated hair. That’s not your average woman, but it sounds like a number of men I know. (That’s not a derogatory statement, they’re all quite fabulous and I adore them and think they’re great).

Runway fashion shows featuring women’s fashions use cross-dressing men. Remember the shock a few years back when designers discussed how much better their (women’s) fashions looked on men? Anyone with hips understands the perversity of this, but not the designers who design the clothes that women must starve themselves to look “good” in. I’m not sure how to fight the designers, but I do believe that the best way to defang the pageant industry a bit is just to give up on it.

Ironically, the drag queens would have an unfair advantage at the Miss America pageant since they better represent the “womanly” ideal than most women. Let’s face it, this idea won’t solve the problems inherent in a beauty pageant culture, but it would make it all a hell of a lot more interesting.

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